Aunty Maude solves everyday dilemmas.
Dear Aunty Maude
An old high-school friend who lives in a town nearby insists on “popping in” whenever she’s passing by. She sweeps in, razzes up the kids and eats everything in sight. These days, when I hear the sound of her car turning into our driveway, my heart sinks. I love her, but I feel an enormous pressure to be “on”. Or to entertain her. And she always arrives when we’re in the middle of something. Can’t she let me know in advance if she wants to visit?
Weary Hostess, 39
Dear Weary
In our day, everyone was popping in on everyone. Our house was in a state of constant preparedness. At a moment’s notice I could whip up prawn cocktails or devilled eggs. Only once did we pop in on someone who was popping in on us.
Yours is more of a pop-up generation. Young admirers of mine have no qualms about messaging me out of the blue, no matter what I might be in the middle of. Do you think I appreciate it? I do, actually, though it can be distracting if I’m already entertaining one of them “IRL”.
When Jim was still alive, the rule for popper-inners was simple. You always took your hosts as you found them: not everyone’s house was as spotless as ours, and not everyone’s canapés were as winning as mine. And you always offered a helping hand, whether that be by cleaning an oven, birthing a calf or boosting morale with hilarious anecdotes.
Weary, you say that you’re always in the middle of something. Sweetheart, everyone’s always in the middle of something. It’s called life. Better one with too many people than not enough.
Next time your friend pops in, why not put them to work? They’ll get the idea. Once they’ve been elbow-deep in a cow, scrubbed the oven and read an afternoon story to the toddlers while you put your feet up, you just might start to enjoy their company again.
The other option is to go full Miss Havisham: lock the doors, draw the blinds and disconnect the doorbell.
Now that I’m of a certain age, with Jim gone and the quality of personages in my district declining, I have adopted a combination of both strategies. My door is open. And if an unexpected guest can make it over the ravine, clear the quicksand, dodge the bees and sidle past the brown snake, then I for one will be curious to meet them.
Maude
